 The way you see yourself determines how you act. If you see yourself as lazy, then you'll be lazy. If you see yourself as trashy, you'll act trashy. If you think you're worthless, then you'll be worthless.
However, if you see yourself as important, you'll act important. If you see yourself as a winner, then you'll always get ahead in life. It's all about the identity you've given yourself. It's not enough to just think positive about your life. You need to change your identity if you're not in a good place in life.
So, look yourself in the mirror and ask what your identity is. What do you generally identify yourself with? Is that identity getting you anywhere in life? Are you happy with that identity? Does that identity truly reflects who you want to be? If not, then it's time to change your identity. Me? I am a FIT and HEALTHY fitness instructor. Guess what? I'm going to act like it and look like it. I am a good and loving father. I'm going to act like it. I'm a loving husband. I'm going to act like it. If I were to say, "I'm just a fat fuddy-duddy," then I'm going to act like it. If I were to say, "I'm just too old for that stuff," then I'd be looking forward to a nursing home pretty soon! You may not realize it, but where you are RIGHT NOW is based on the identity you have given yourself. Yes, I understand that life happens. Life happens to ALL. However, your identity will either keep you where you are or take you to a better place. If you want life to change for the better, then give yourself a better identity. You make choices based on who you think you are. If you see yourself poorly, start boosting your self-image and identify yourself as an important person. The higher you boost your self-image, the better choices you'll make for a much better life.
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 If you've seen crime and forensic shows such as CSI, Law and Order, Bones, or NCIS, you'd probably have a strong understanding of what forensic science is. In short, a forensic scientist looks for answers in less obvious places. That is, that scientist looks for clues in places your average person wouldn't think of looking in.
As the show always ends, the forensic scientist finds ground-breaking clues in the most unusual places that leads to solving a crime. In life, sometimes we need to act like forensic scientists by looking for answers in places no one else would look in. This is also called "thinking outside the box." You see, when we have questions, we're taught to look in typical places. For instance, my mother struggled with high blood pressure for a while. Where did she go for answers? The doctor, of course! And as expected, the doctor prescribed medications. But I had a hunch that her blood pressure was caused by something else -- and thankfully, another doctor had the same hunch and told her why her blood pressure was always high. She had "white coat syndrome" -- that is, she was nervous about having her blood pressure taken, which actually made her pressure high! The doctor took her off the medications! If you are searching for an answer:
If you ever had a toddler who lost something, you'd know that you can't just look in obvious places. You have to think like a child and look in all the places that child would care to go. Then you'd find that lost item in a place where only a PARENT would think of looking!
There is a better answer for you -- and that answer is in a less obvious place. Just open your eyes, think outside the box, and you'd be surprised at what you find!  I never tell my clients to stay away from ANY foods. I believe that there are no bad foods: just bad habits.
Okay, okay, I know about pesticides, artificial sweeteners, artificial preservatives, red #40, yellow #6, high fructose corn syrup, you name it. I know about all these chemicals and others that have been put on the nutritionist's hit list. I understand how some of these chemicals could harm your health, especially that of your children. But guess what? Unless you're willing to live on a remote island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean that no human has contaminated yet, then it's pointless to try to isolate yourself from all these chemicals. Chemicals are EVERYWHERE, not just in the foods we eat. In your home, you have plenty of chemicals that you live with on a daily basis. Your carpet, hairspray, the paint on your walls, your computer, cell phone, refrigerator, etc., frequently release chemicals and radiation that could kill you if taken in large enough doses. In your car, motor oil, transmission oil, gas, and your muffler release toxins that you're exposed to every time you're driving. And if you bought a brand new car, then you're exposed to chemicals that your interior fabric releases (that "new car smell" is nothing but toxins). You are ALWAYS being poisoned. But thank the good Lord that your body has a detoxifying system to keep your body clean. This system includes your liver, kidneys, your ability to pee, poop, sweat, and breathe. So, whenever your body is exposed to toxins, the body knows that it can't do anything with these toxins. In fact, if the body can't or won't use something, then it's a toxin and the body packages up this toxin to release it from the body. All the foods you eat that are laced with toxins the body could take care of. Your body is designed much better than you think! It is a beautiful piece of machinery that could handle more punishment than we realize. Therefore, I don't tell people to try to avoid anything, especially if they are struggling financially. You see, when you start telling people that this food kills, or that food poisons, or this drink does this or that, you make a person who is in a financial bind feel helpless. I mean, all the certified organic foods are expensive. It's also expensive to set up a GOOD water filtration system. What is a poor person to do??? One time, I was watching this show (sorry, I can't remember the name of it) that separated these folks into two groups. One group would be the "detox" group where they would eat foods they believed would detox the body. Also, this group wouldn't eat any meat. The other group would eat healthy, but won't eliminate any foods, especially meat. After about a week, the group was evaluated by a doctor. This doctor took their blood work before this experiment and after the experiment. What were the results? In his words, there was "no difference" between the two groups. He also added to those of the detox group, "We underestimate the body's natural ability to detoxify itself." If you eat that candy with all the food dyes or the apple with all the pesticides, the body would take those toxins and eliminate them because the body can't do anything with the toxins. Now, I would say this. While I believe in the body's amazing ability to detoxify itself, you can still harm your body by overloading it with toxins. It's not about your body getting the toxins, but how many toxins the body is exposed to over time. For example, drinking tap water could be harmful because of the NUMEROUS chemicals used to treat the water. I've read my city water's report, and man, I shake my head at the many chemicals used in the water. I think I've read between 15 to 25 different chemicals used! If I'm constantly drinking that water, then my body could be overloaded with toxins that would eventually cause health problems. Or think about toll workers. Everyday they are out on the highway exposed to emission fumes from vehicles. Eventually, they would have health problems. Or think about someone who mostly eats junk food with all the chemicals in them. Eventually, that person will have problems. If your body is exposed to toxins to the extent where it can't eliminate them all quickly enough, the toxins will build up and poison your body. This is why MODERATION to toxic exposure is key. The person with cancer or diabetes or whatever health-related disease you could think of wasn't the one who had a doughnut for breakfast. It's the one who had two or three doughnuts for breakfast everyday. It's not the one who ate fast food. It's the one who ate fast food everyday. It's not the one who drank a diet soda that uses aspartame as a sweetener. It's the one who drank 7 diet sodas a day (yes, I had a client who actually drank that many diet sodas on a daily basis). Speaking of drinking so much soda, it would be that type of person who would have corroded teeth -- not the person who drinks one soda every now and then. Your HABITS kill you, not the food. I want my clients to have a healthy relationship with ALL foods, both the healthy and the "unhealthy" foods. It's a pain to avoid all the foods you love. Learn how to manage how and what you eat rather than abstaining from everything you love. Now, let me leave you with this caution: certain things in whatever you consume may have something that could be causing you problems. For instance:
If you're having health issues and you think a certain food may be causing it, back away from that food and see what happens. Otherwise, if you're healthy with no known problems, MODERATION, NOT ELIMINATION, IS WHAT'S IMPORTANT!  If you're struggling with a nasty habit, you would naturally think that you should just stop doing it. Just get enough will power to say NO to your nasty habits and somehow you'd be cured.
Sorry, but it just doesn't work that way. You see, you can't just stop a nasty habit. If you just stop, then you would leave a void in your life that you would quickly fill up with something else. Usually, you would fill that void with the same nasty habit. So, instead of trying to "kick the habit," try replacing your bad habit with a good one. Focus on adapting so many good habits that the one bad habit you have would be pushed aside. It's better to PUSH AWAY the habit than simply stopping it. Think about a car. If that car runs out of gas, you could simply put more gas in that car. But if you pushed the car off the cliff with a better car...well...that old car is GONE. It's broken in pieces! The same thing with your habit: if you just stop it, you could always put more gas to re-start that habit. But if you PUSH that habit off the cliff with better habits, then that nasty habit is GONE. The point is to fill your life with so many good things that the bad things would have no room to thrive. The good things would push out the bad things to the point that those bad things become a memory.  Ask yourself this important question: what would have to happen to make me quit. Your answer would determine your commitment level.
It's nearing the end of January, and I'd guarantee that MANY people have already broken their New Year's resolution. If you've already given up on your goals, then obviously those goals were never truly goals to begin with. If you're still working on your goals, then you're quite committed. But how committed are you? Well, ask yourself what would make you quit. We all have our limits. I don't believe any one of us would commit to something for too long if we're not seeing any benefits from it. So, what are YOUR limits? What would it take to make you throw in the towel? What would make you think that it's no longer worth it? What would get you to give up? Yes, it's noble if you were to tell yourself that NOTHING would make you quit. But give yourself a limit. You don't want to stick with a lost cause. You don't want to waste your time on something that will NEVER benefit you. You don't want to spend so much energy on a dead horse that you've missed all the living horses around you. So...what would make you quit? Whatever your answer is, really think about it and ask, "Does this reason show that I'm strongly committed or weakly committed?"
So, write down what your goals are and write down what would make you quit pursuing those goals. The answers may surprise you!  You're broke! Money is scarced! You could barely pay your rent on time. You're living on the beans-and-rice diet. You are barely surviving. But...that doesn't mean you can't have an awesome body. If you're gonna be poor, might as well look good being poor! If you can't afford to go to the gym, there are plenty of cheap ways to have a chiseled body. Yes, you've probably seen all the Yahoo! articles about cheap ways to get fit. But I bet you've never thought about using a bucket! Go to a dollar store and get yourself a bucket! Fill it with water (or dirt, sand, rocks, whatever) and you have a weight! Depending on what you fill the bucket with, you could have a weight that is anywhere from 8 lbs to perhaps 70 lbs! Water is not too dense. Dirt, however, is VERY dense and you could pack on the weight by using dirt or sand. So, what could you do with a bucket of water or dirt?
The list goes on and on! Whatever you could do with a barbel or a dumbbell, you could do with a full bucket!  But wait! You don't have to use just a bucket. You could also use a water bottle. No, not those 20-ounce bottles, but the gallon bottles. After you finish the water bottle, refill it with water or dirt. If the water bottle is filled with water, it might weigh between 8 to 10 lbs. If you fill it with dirt, it would weigh more. And what could you do with a water bottle? Everything that you could do with the bucket! I recommend getting the water bottles that have screw-on tops. The bottles with the pop-off tops might pop off while you're working out -- and I'm sure you don't want to mess up your carpet!  But hold on! It doesn't stop there. When your kids come home from school, use their bookbags to beef up your muscles! Now if you're good at doing kettlebell exercises, you could use the bookbag for swinging movements as you would with the kettlebell. Otherwise, use the bookbag for a regular weight. Of course you wouldn't fill the bookbag with water! You could fill it with books, cans, dishes, or whatever items you find in the house. Just be careful in how you lift the bag. If the bag is too heavy, don't grab it by the top handle. Grab it with the two straps. Using a bookbag is great for squats and lunges. Simply put on the bookbag on your back and start squatting or lunging. Heck, do some jumps with the bookbag! Jumping in itself is a killer on the legs. Now add the extra resistance with the bookbag and you'll wipe yourself out!  Now this one is especially for the parents. Don't just use your car seat to transport your baby. Use it to get killer shoulders!
Fill your car seat with cans, books, or whatever you could find. If you use the car seat base, you'll have extra resistance. Of course, the car seat in itself with no base or extra weight is heavy enough if you're starting out. Heck, if your baby is in the car seat, use your little bundle of joy to build up those arms. You would put your kid to sleep with all the movement of the car seat. Trust me, I'm a father! You see, there is ALWAYS something you could do to get your body in good shape. Just open your mind, look around you, and you would see that you could use plenty of things for weights!  You Can't Please Everybody...
No matter how hard you try to please everybody, you will have a few who won't like you. No matter how nice you are, somebody would think you're a jerk. No matter how knowledgeable you appear to be, someone would think you're dumb. And no matter how polite you are, someone will think you are down-right rude. Man, sometimes I'm surprised by what a FEW people think of me! I've been called arrogant, mean, rude, stupid -- and I've done nothing to deserve these titles! But it just goes to show that you can't please everybody, and some people would see you however way they want to. But you know what? How other people choose to see you is their business, not yours. And many times, the way they see you just reflects the way THEY are. Think about it. If you're likely to think the best of others, you're most likely a pleasant person to be around. I don't know anybody who is truly a pleasant person that thinks the worst of people. Yet, those who think the worst of others are usually not all that pleasant themselves! If someone thinks you're a jerk when you CLEARLY aren't a jerk, well, that person is probably a jerk him or herself. If someone thinks you're arrogant when you're CLEARLY not, that person is probably an arrogant person. If someone thinks you're stupid when you CLEARLY show how knowledgeable you are...well...maybe we ought to verify where he or she went to school! But those who think you have a good heart when you were actually mean are those who have good hearts. People who think the good of those who don't deserve it are those who are truly good people. Don't get upset because someone accused you of something that wasn't true. Just brush it off. Because really, if someone calls you a jerk, it only means that person is calling him or herself a jerk. If someone said you were rude, that person is calling him or herself rude. Only rude people are quick to point out other rude people. Those who are more graceful are slow to point out other people's faults. Those who are understanding, slow to anger, and who could control their mouths are the ones who focus on other people's hidden potential. Those who are just unpleasant are the ones to easily interpret anything you do to be unpleasant. The saying "It takes one to know one" is true! So, don't stress out about trying to make everybody your friend. You will have enemies whether you're naughty or nice. Some people, sadly, like making enemies. But it's all good. If someone thinks the worst of you, it just means that they think the worst of him or herself!  First off, Happy New Year!
So, you've made your resolutions. You have goals to achieve! This year is going to be the best year yet! You're going to take over this world! But let me tell you that if your resolutions are not SPECIFIC with a SPECIFIC plan, then you'll find yourself at the end of this year disappointed that you've accomplished NONE of your goals. You see, it's easy to be motivated to make positive changes in your life. But our biggest mistake when making goals is not having SPECIFIC goals. For instance, you want to make more money. That's not specific -- that's general. How much more money do you want to make, by WHAT TIME do you want to make this money, and HOW are you going to make this money? Now THAT'S specific! Or, let's say you want to lose weight. Well, HOW MUCH do you want to lose, WHEN do you want to lose it, and WHAT ACTIONS are you going to take to lose it? Or, you want to be healthier, or more fit, or more positive. These are TOO general, and the more general your goals are, the less likely you are to accomplish them. In this life, you can't have a broad vision and expect to accomplish anything. You need to be INSANELY specific in order to achieve your goals. When you're specific, then you could make a specific plan to hit your goals. Simply "eating right and exercising" is not a specific plan for weight-loss. Simply lifting more weights and eating more protein is not a specific plan for building muscle. Unfortunately, unless your brain has a CLEAR target, it won't give you any ideas. But when your brain knows EXACTLY what you want to do, it will give you a solid plan to hit your target. So, rethink your New Year's resolutions and modify them until they are pinpoint specific. Then write out a plan that would get you to that SPECIFIC destination. |
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