Be Specific

Looking up a diagnosis for your problems online is like asking for someone's general opinions of you: you won't like the outcome! I, like a normal person, don't like criticism of any kind. However, I believe criticism is absolutely vital -- as long as it's the RIGHT kind of criticism.

I've written a post about constructive criticism vs. destructive criticism. When someone critiques your personal style, they are attacking your personality. This is destructive criticism and it serves no purpose. When someone, however, has critiques that could make you a better person or help you do something better, then that is the criticism you do want. That's constructive criticism.

Now, how could you get constructive criticism instead of destructive criticism? By asking specific questions. If you don't know what to ask, then you won't know what answers to look for. If you don't know where you're going, then you won't know which roads to take. If you don't know how to ask for criticism, then you'll get all sorts of criticism that would make you feel like a horrible person.

Moving forward in life happens when you know what to ask for. If you don't know what you're looking for in life, then you won't get it. When your vision is clear, then you know exactly what you need to work on.

I NEVER, EVER ask my fitness participants if they like my musical choices. It's a bonus if they do, but their musical preference is not my top concern. Why? Because musical preference does not add or take away from a work out -- and if you allow it to take away from a work out, that's on you, not me. However, I DO ask the things that would impact everybody's workout: can you follow my cues, was the exercise hard to you, do you feel like you got a good sweat in class, did the choreography seem to flow with the music? I NEVER ask a person, "Did you like the class?" Personally, I don't care. That's almost like asking, "Do you like me?" Again, not my concern. My main concern is how was your performance impacted in class.

I could make myself better and better as long as I look for the right things. Not every answer is a good answer. Not every road is a good road. Not every sign that I see is a "sign from God." Not every dream that I have is a message from the divine. If you don't know what to look for, you won't know what to do.

I think about an incident in the Bible about a servant who was looking for a wife for his boss. His boss, Abraham, wanted a wife for his son Issac. Abraham told this servant exactly WHERE to go to find a wife for Issac, and Abraham specifically told the servant to not settle for less. That is, if the servant finds the right woman in the right place BUT that woman refuses to come, then don't look for a woman anywhere else.

The servant then prayed to God to help him find the right woman, and his prayer was VERY specific. Before the servant even finished his prayer, he found the right woman for Issac named Rebekah. This girl was willing to travel back with this servant to marry Issac, and they had two boys: Jacob and Esau.

Want answers in your life? Be specific. Know EXACTLY what you want. We're not kids in high school anymore who have no idea if they want to be astronauts or dancers. We are adults, and as such, we need to start looking for specific answers. We need to know exactly what we need to work on. We need to know what road to take. In fact, we don't need to focus on all the wrong ways to go. We just need to know that one RIGHT way of getting what we want.

Looking for a house? You won't be vague about it, right? You're about to make a HEFTY investment and you can't afford to be vague about the kind of house you want. Looking for a spouse? You can't be vague about it. When I was looking for a spouse, I had only a few VERY SPECIFIC concerns that I wasn't willing to compromise on: her faith in God, if I could trust her, and if she could be my best friend. Everything else I was loose with. Nearly 15 years later, I still believe I made the right choice in marrying her.

Don't get vague about life. Pick something and roll with it. If you're vague about your symptoms when looking them up online, you'll almost guaranteed to be diagnosed with cancer. But if you're very specific (like LASER specific) about your problems, you could actually find a permanent solution for yourself.