It's Not A Problem Until You Make It A Problem

You probably had at least one broken bone in your lifetime, but you never knew it. You probably had cancer at one time in your life, but you never knew it. You probably had blockage in one of your arteries, but you never knew it and would probably never know it in your lifetime. And yes, you probably had HIV at one time in your life, but again, you never knew it and probably won't ever know it.

And guess what? You went on living a regular life as if nothing was wrong. You would probably go to your grave in peace, and you would have never known that you had any health problems.

Problems aren't really problems unless someone makes them problems. Or in other words, it ain't a big deal unless you make it a big deal.

One of the scariest things about modern medicine is that we could detect any problems you have before they have any time to correct themselves. When my daughter was still in my wife's tummy, we had a routine sonogram done. The doctor detected an abnormality. One of my daughter's kidney's was underdeveloped. So, we had to go to "genetic counseling" where we were told that my child may have mental disabilities. And yes, this bothered me -- even to the point of tears.

But guess what happened during our final sonogram screening? Everything turned out normal. Both of her kidneys looked good.

So, there was really no problems. It's just that the doctor made it a problem. Instead of giving things a chance to "autocorrect," the docs just make you scared that something horrible could happen. I guess they're afraid of being sued should a real problem actually happen.

See, my perspective in life is that if you don't make it a problem, it probably won't become a problem. Most of our problems happen when we keep pushing for a problem to BECOME a problem.

I do wonder how many unnecessary medical treatments happened simply because we "created" a problem? We detected something in a MRI scan and thought it was cancer. Maybe it was, but maybe that cancer would have been taken care of by the body's immune system. But when you treat cancer, the first thing you destroy is the body's immune system, which is your natural weapon against cancer.

Recently, one of our friends was diagnosed with leukemia. So, the docs are blasting her with radiation and pumping her full of chemo. She was put into a terrible shape because of all the treatments. Now, they discovered that the treatments had weakened her heart, so she can't get a bone marrow transplant. I just want to tell her to just leave the doctors and see how her body would correct itself! But at this stage in her life, it would be a Catch-22 situation for her: she'd be doomed either way she goes.

The former school teacher in me aches whenever I hear of another kid diagnosed with ADHD, which means they'd need medication for, well, pretty much their entire life. All I'm wondering is, "What if your kid just has a naturally active personality?" or "What if your kid would eventually change if you let him grow?"

At church, one of our friends had their son diagnosed with ADHD. The father is against giving him medication, but the mother is all for it. Apparently, this kid acts up too much in school. Both the father and I agreed that this boy doesn't act up around us. I had taught this kid myself, and he behaves, and if he gives me an attitude, I'd set him straight immediately and he straightens up. Why is he now diagnosed with ADHD?

Another one of our friends had her son kind of diagnosed with delayed speech. So, he is "required" under Federal law to attend speech therapy sessions right away (it's an health insurance issue). Both she and the doctor disagreed with requiring speech therapy right away. I definitely disagreed with it, because, well, the kid was two years old! Give the boy some time to grow! He might be a little slow in developing certain aspects, but typically, kids develop at different paces.

See, when we get scared, we would make anything into a problem. It's like baking a cake: if you take the cake out of the oven too soon, it would be a problem, but if you leave it alone, it would actually become a cake!

When my daughter was born, she was having sucking issues -- or so that was what we were told. So, we just tried to bottle-feed her. One of the nurses was actually successful in bottle-feeding her. Heck, I was successful in bottle-feeding her. My wife, on the other hand, wasn't successful and she told the medical staff that her daughter wasn't feeding well. Now, everybody is freaking out about my daughter while I'm left wondering, "Huh? But...but...but my baby did fine with me!" The nurse who was successful in bottle-feeding her was also confused. Eventually, my daughter started feeding. What I think happened was that she wasn't hungry, so she didn't want to eat anything! All we were doing was forcing her to eat! Even to this day she eats like a bird...just like her grandmother (my mother).

My son, on the other hand, had ZERO issues with feeding. And to this day, he has NO issues with food. While my daughter nibbles like a rabbit, my boy chomps like an alligator! He'd be happy with a diet of steak, hamburgers, ribs, hot dogs, and sausage. My daughter would be happy with a diet of broccoli, blueberries, and noodles.

In my CPR classes, I teach people to make an emergency into a "non-emergency." When something looks strange, we think it's something big! So, we freak out and call the national guard. We do this because we get scared too easily and we're not willing to educate ourselves on what should be normal and what shouldn't be normal. Most of the problems that we experience in our lives are just NORMAL instances that look funny. These normal things become problems when we make them problems.

And for those problems that are actually problems, we end up turning them into bigger problems. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have a few real problems than a ton of self-made problems. Or in other words, if it doesn't need to be a problem, then please don't make it a problem!

Think about the child who fell down after running around. The first thing that kid is going to do is look at your expression. If you appeared distressed, the kid will get distressed. Even if the kid broke an arm, that kid would still react according to how YOU react.

Instead of making a "problem" into a problem, find reasons why it shouldn't be a problem. Most likely, what you're faced with isn't a problem, or at least not yet. If it's not a problem now, could it eventually correct itself or would you just turn it into a problem? Think about all problems being in your control: you would determine their intensity level.