People are motivated in two ways: through being excused or through being empowered. You're either motivated by the fact that you can't do anything about anything, or you'd be motivated by the fact that you can do something about anything.
Now this is going to sound like a generalization, but I feel that we in the U.S. are driven through excuses.
Our way of parenting is heavily influenced through excuses. If your kid acts up, well, your kid is just being a kid. Or maybe he or she has some mental issues. If he knocks up a girl at 14, it's not your fault. If she gets pregnant at 14, it's not your fault. Don't ask "Where did I go wrong," because you did nothing wrong. You're excused!
Kids are given condoms in school because, well, they're kids, their hormones are ranging, and they can't always control themselves. So, we have to "protect them" by teaching them about contraceptives and provide them with contraceptives. If my son is going to "do it," then the least I could do is give them protection. Right?
Heck, even our marriages are influenced with excuses. More and more I'm hearing about wives who would allow their husbands to cheat on them as long as the wives don't know about it. Why? Because men are men! Apparently, we men can't control ourselves when we're around other women.
One time, I've heard on a radio talk show of a female caller who said that she would be okay if her husband cheated as long as she doesn't know about it. Well, if he can't control himself, he's going to get himself some nookie from another woman. Might as well make him feel better about it if he could keep his end of the deal by keeping it a secret from his wife.
But do you know what happens when you're motivated by excuses? You ruin your life! You won't strive to be better because there are too many individuals giving you excuses to stay where you are!
When you're motivated by excuses, then:
How many of you have achieved anything by using excuses? None? Just what I thought! Nobody accomplishes anything when they are driven by excuses -- because you don't do anything when you have an excuse. In fact, an excuse is really another way of saying, "I don't have to do anything!"
At one time, if you were fat, it was YOUR fault. You either ate too dang much or ate too much of the wrong things. See, when I was younger, I was the fat kid. We fat kids were the EXCEPTION in school. Most of the kids were slim. When you were the fat kid, other kids made fun of you. Nurses were concerned about you. Your gym teacher was mean to you! When you were the fat kid, guess whose fault it was? The parent's and the kid's!
Is it like that today in America? Nope! Now, it's the norm to be the fat kid in class. Heck, the principal is fat, the teachers are fat, the school nurses are fat, the parents are fat, and the kids are fat. Heck, even doctors are fat! Being obese is now considered a "disease." Kids are being excused! Parents are being excused! Everybody is fat and it's okay! God makes everybody into different shapes, right? If that's the case, then apparently God's favorite shape is a circle!
We live in a culture that motivates citizens with excuses rather than empowerment. Nobody is at fault! Nobody is responsible for any adversity!
It surely does feel good to hear that it isn't your fault! It's good to blame traffic, or your car not starting, or the alarm not going off. But you know what? When you accept that nothing is your fault, then you unknowingly accept that you cannot do anything to make your life better.
It feels good when the boss accepts that you were late because of traffic. But then again, your boss may have another employee who is NEVER late for work. What is that employee's secret? He wakes up VERY early so that he could avoid traffic. That employee is perhaps the only employee who arrives to work 30 minutes early. The boss would notice this and give that employee a promotion. You? You won't get anything because you've accepted excuses!
It feels good when your mom and dad accepts that school is too hard for you, that class sizes are too big, and that you may have ADHD. It's okay that you can't get into any good colleges. Education isn't everything. But then again, you have a kid whose parents accepted no excuses from their child and he or she gets all A's every time. Class sizes were HUGE, but that wasn't a valid excuse for the parents. The teacher was hard to understand. It didn't matter. The kid had to research the material him or herself! ADHD? What's that?? And guess what? Every prestigious college is calling that kid up and offering FULL scholarships. That kid could go to college for FREE!
And where are you going? To get a job at the local dollar store!
Yes, it feels good when your wife accepts that you have a weakness for pornography and can't help yourself. Then she meets a man who has no struggles with that and leaves you for him.
Yes, it feels good that your husband accepts that you have anger issues and can't help degrading his manhood at times. Then he meets a woman who doesn't have those issues and leaves you for her.
Yes, it feels good that your boss excuses you because of your lifestyle-related illnesses. You're always calling off work to see a doctor and the boss seems okay with it. But one day, he will find a healthier employee and fire your behind!
Yes, it feels good that your kid excuses you from spending time with her. You're always working and never have time for her. She tells you it's okay! Then one day, she would end up on the streets as a prostitute, pregnant, and on drugs.
Yes, it feels good when your son's behavior is contributed to ADHD. You can't do anything about it except give him medication. Your conscious is clean -- until you find your kid in the hospital from an overdose of medication struggling for his life.
Excuses feel good! But they accomplish nothing in your life! Excuses would kill you and your loved ones. Empowerment will save many lives!
You have a choice! You could make yourself better or allow yourself to settle.
And most importantly, you could live your life comfortable with excuses or live your life seeking empowerment.
Before you say that something can't be done, TRY IT first. Before you say that there is no hope, try hoping first. Before you think it's pointless, try sharpening the pencil first!
Empower yourself! Don't accept excuses. If you want to live a richer, more fulfilling life, then push yourself! See what could be done. If you settle for excuses, you'll live in misery until you fall in your grave.
All information in this blog are for inspirational purposes only. Unless otherwise stated, all content is written and copyrighted by Aiyo A. Jones.