We typically don't like the word "No," because it means that we can't get what we want. If the creditor said "No" to auto financing, then we can't get that newer, "more reliable" car. If a college said "No" to my application, then I can't attend that school to get my degree. And if the examiner said "No" to me, then I failed a test that was supposed to get me ahead somewhere.
But for a moment, think about the FREEDOM that the word "No" could give you. "No" to auto financing means no high monthly car payments. "No" to a college application means no student loan debt. When you're given "No," it could quite possibly mean that you've avoided troubled.
"No" could protect you from getting into unnecessary commitments. "No" could help you avoid marrying the wrong person. "No" could steer you away from financial trouble or getting into a job that you would end up despising.
When you say "Yes," then you're opening the doors to who knows what. It's very easy for us to say "Yes" to everything, and then we'll wind up over-committing ourselves to various things and becoming overwhelmed. But when you could say "No," then you could avoid all of that.
I say "No" to my kids very frequently, and I have no issues doing it. See, when they're kids, they aren't fully independent. They can't just get in the car and drive, or buy a plane ticket to head to a different country, or drop a few thousand dollars to take some specialized classes. See, Mommy and Daddy has to do those things! So, while I want to see my kids joyful, I do know that saying "Yes" to them means that I have to be tied down to whatever they're getting themselves into. I have to pay for those classes. I have to pay for that plane ticket. I have to drive my kids to those soccer games. Now, both the kids and I are committed -- they get to enjoy the activities while I get to "enjoy" paying for them and driving them everywhere.
A good rule of thumb to follow is to be liberal with your "No's," but conservative with your "Yes's." The word "Yes" means commitment -- and commitment involves time, or money, or both. But when you say "No," well, you don't have to worry about time or money. You're free!
Before, there's been a debate about how sex education should work in public schools. Should sex education courses be "comprehensive" in which contraceptives are taught? Or should complete abstinence be taught, where students are simply told to say "No" to sex? What I say is to ask students, "Are you prepared to get a job and raise children?" Most assuredly I say to you, all students would say "No." When you tell kids how to say "Yes" in a so-called "safe way," you're opening them up for major commitments. Once a 17-year-old boy says "Yes" to that 13-year-old girl, then he'll have to suffer all possible consequences, including police involvement and an angry father with a shotgun! But if that teenage boy simply said "No," guess what? He's free. Nothing to worry about. His future is still bright. If we're willing to teach our children to say "No" instead of teaching them how to gamble with life, many of them won't have unnecessary commitments.
Want to stay out of trouble? Just say "No." Say "No" to sleeping in so that you won't have to rush to work. Say "No" to marrying someone that you're not sure of. You could never go wrong by staying single. Say "No" to shoplifting, because jail time and a criminal record isn't worth it. Say "No" to speeding, because tickets are expensive, and you don't want points on your record. Say "No" to doing anything that you think you'll regret later on. And especially say "No" to using your words to cut others down.
You don't want to spend your life having commitments upon commitments. Every time you say "Yes," you would have tied yourself to another activity. Just imagine that one hour of your day gets deducted every time you said "Yes." You'd probably be more careful in what commitments you make.
Now, are there times when saying "No" could be bad for you? Absolutely -- but, even if you said "No" to an excellent opportunity, well, that just simply means you won't have to commit to it. Yes, you should take that exercise class, but if you say "No" to it, then you could have time to think about how serious your health means to you. That "No" could turn into an authentic, heart-felt "Yes," which is a "Yes" that you should say. Yes, you should have congratulated her on her pregnancy -- but, then again, how do you know that she's actually pregnant? One time, the wife of one of my college professors had a man go up to her and ask, "And who do we have in there," referring to her belly. She said, "No one!"
I'm sure the man meant well...but he was too quick on his "Yes." He should have waited until he was sure that she didn't simply have a fat belly. He should have said "No" to saying anything to her. Instead, he was too quick on saying "Yes" to talking about her belly.
When in doubt, just say "No," because you could think about your answer later on. But once you say "Yes," well, you can't always think about it later -- especially if it involves the law. If you want to keep yourself out of trouble and keep your schedule as free as possible, do yourself a favor and just say "No."
All information in this blog are for inspirational purposes only. Unless otherwise stated, all content is written and copyrighted by Aiyo A. Jones.